A Harvard psychology professor once said that whenever he meets someone who really wants something, he always wonders what they will be willing to do not to get it. Taking another slant, motivational speaker Zig Ziglar believes that the leading cause of unhappiness is trading what we want most for what we want now.
There are some practices that are guaranteed to generate unhappiness. Among them are:
Don’t appreciate your achievements. Instead, regard them as things that anyone could do or which somehow occurred through no serious effort of your own.
Keep raising the bar. Turn a search for excellence into an exhausting, never-ending quest.
Look at life through a mirror. After all, the rest of the world should behave and think as you do.
Expect others to know when you are upset. Regard their failure as a sign that they are insensitive and uncaring.
Reopen old wounds. Blame your parents, siblings, coworkers, bosses, and teachers. Let no transgression have a statute of limitations.
Worry. Fret about things that are unlikely to happen. Worry some more when they don’t happen.
Embrace martyrdom. Be much harder on yourself than you would be on others
Don’t enjoy the small things. Keep your eye on the weightier matters. Ignore small pleasures such as watching a sunrise or having a good cup of coffee.
Fall in with bad companions. Associate with people who have similar negative habits so you can reinforce one another’s feelings.
Swing for the fences. Forget the base hits and incremental goals.
Don’t set deadlines. Hey, you’ll get around to it one of these days.
And above all, expect an even playing field. The world is noted for being fair.
Michael Wade writes Execupundit.com, an eclectic combination of management advice, observations, and links. A partner with the Phoenix firm of Sanders Wade Rodarte Consulting Inc., he has advised private and public-sector organizations for more than 30 years.
Monday, June 7, 2010
12 Rules on Email Etiquette
Michael S. Wade, On Saturday 5 June 2010, 1:59 SGT
Since E-mail is not going away any time soon, it makes sense to develop some ground rules for its usage. Here are 10 that I try to follow:
1. Do not use E-mail for sensitive subjects or topics that may be especially susceptible to misinterpretation.
[See 15 essentials for getting hired.]
2. Do not use E-mail if you are having a difference of opinion with the other person. It is very easy to come across as curt or uncaring in an E-mail message. Schedule a meeting with the person or pick up the phone.
3. Scrutinize the tone of your E-mails. Recognize that the receiver cannot hear your tone of voice and may not spot irony or humor.
4. Don't put anything in an E-mail that you wouldn't want to read on the front page of the newspaper or while sitting on the witness stand.
[See why most CEOs are nice.]
5. Be wary of forwarding E-mails unless you are certain that the sender would not mind if the message were forwarded. I've received forwarded E-mails that contained some rather personal comments in addition to the business content. I doubt if the author of the original message wanted me to know about her family situation.
6. If you want an E-mail to be regarded as urgent, then label it as such. Regard non-urgent messages the same way you'd regard regular mail and don't expect a reply within hours.
7. Beware of using text messaging abbreviations with people who might find it to be unprofessional, confusing or abrupt. I recently received an E-mail from a customer service department that was written in "textese." I thought it was funny but not everyone would have that reaction.
[See 12 ways to be miserable at work.]
8. Unless the person is on the other side of the world, the fewer messages, the better. If you need to communicate so much with someone who is just down the hall, go see the person.
9. Beware of rushed messages. Those are the ones you are most likely to regret.
10. Forgive notes that seem unpleasant or out of character. We all have days in which we need people to cut us some slack. Unless it is extreme, don't let one note ruin a relationship.
Michael Wade writes Execupundit.com, an eclectic combination of management advice, observations, and links. A partner with the Phoenix firm of Sanders Wade Rodarte Consulting Inc., he has advised private and public-sector organizations for more than 30 years.
Since E-mail is not going away any time soon, it makes sense to develop some ground rules for its usage. Here are 10 that I try to follow:
1. Do not use E-mail for sensitive subjects or topics that may be especially susceptible to misinterpretation.
[See 15 essentials for getting hired.]
2. Do not use E-mail if you are having a difference of opinion with the other person. It is very easy to come across as curt or uncaring in an E-mail message. Schedule a meeting with the person or pick up the phone.
3. Scrutinize the tone of your E-mails. Recognize that the receiver cannot hear your tone of voice and may not spot irony or humor.
4. Don't put anything in an E-mail that you wouldn't want to read on the front page of the newspaper or while sitting on the witness stand.
[See why most CEOs are nice.]
5. Be wary of forwarding E-mails unless you are certain that the sender would not mind if the message were forwarded. I've received forwarded E-mails that contained some rather personal comments in addition to the business content. I doubt if the author of the original message wanted me to know about her family situation.
6. If you want an E-mail to be regarded as urgent, then label it as such. Regard non-urgent messages the same way you'd regard regular mail and don't expect a reply within hours.
7. Beware of using text messaging abbreviations with people who might find it to be unprofessional, confusing or abrupt. I recently received an E-mail from a customer service department that was written in "textese." I thought it was funny but not everyone would have that reaction.
[See 12 ways to be miserable at work.]
8. Unless the person is on the other side of the world, the fewer messages, the better. If you need to communicate so much with someone who is just down the hall, go see the person.
9. Beware of rushed messages. Those are the ones you are most likely to regret.
10. Forgive notes that seem unpleasant or out of character. We all have days in which we need people to cut us some slack. Unless it is extreme, don't let one note ruin a relationship.
Michael Wade writes Execupundit.com, an eclectic combination of management advice, observations, and links. A partner with the Phoenix firm of Sanders Wade Rodarte Consulting Inc., he has advised private and public-sector organizations for more than 30 years.
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